


i wish i'd said something

by coldnerdytrash



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 23:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldnerdytrash/pseuds/coldnerdytrash
Summary: "I thought I'd mess everything up," Steve said, leaning against the stone and pulling at the grass beneath him.  "I thought that, if I told you, you wouldn't be able to look at me the same ever again.  I thought you'd be disgusted."  Steve took a breath.  "So I didn't tell you."





	i wish i'd said something

"I thought I'd mess everything up," Steve said, leaning against the stone and pulling at the grass beneath him. "I thought that, if I told you, you wouldn't be able to look at me the same ever again. I thought you'd be disgusted." Steve took a breath. "So I didn't tell you."

Steve pulled up a long blade of grass and began tearing it into pieces in his hands. It was still cold out, only late January, but he needed to say how he felt.

"I've loved you since freshman year," Steve said quickly, taking a gasping breath as soon as the words left his mouth. "I've only known you for five years, and I've loved you for four of them." Steve let out a constricted laugh. He yanked on another blade of grass, keeping his gaze in his lap.

"Natasha and Sam have been pestering the hell out of me to tell you since they found out sophomore year, said you felt the same way, but... I didn't believe them. Guess now I just have to ask, huh? Reckon Rhodey'll tell me?" Another laugh, and this one came out wet instead of choked.

There weren't tears in Steve's eyes - there weren't - and even if there were, he was still practically a child. He was barely eighteen, and he had lost so much already. He never knew his father, his mom had passed when he was sixteen, and now...

"I wish I had said something. The worst you could've done was told me you didn't feel the same. Right?" Steve asked. "You wouldn't have cut me entirely out, that's not you." Then Steve sighed. He knew that he wasn't going to get an answer, that he should stop talking already and go, but he couldn't stop, even with the persistent thought that he would never get an answer from the boy with a star in his chest again biting at him from the back of his mind.

"Tasha said this would be hard, but she said I needed to tell you. She said it would make me feel better if I got it out, so now I have." Steve moved so he was kneeling in front of the stone protruding from the ground. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the stone for a moment before resting his forehead against it, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall down his cheeks.

_Anthony Edward Stark  
Son and Friend  
May 29, 1997 - December 16, 2015_

"I miss you, Tony. So damn much."

When Steve walked away, he couldn't bring himself to look at the headstones beside Tony's, the headstones that listed his parents' names and titles, that lied to visitors that they were loving parents. Steve couldn't even bring himself to be relieved that Howard and Maria were dead and could no longer lay a finger of harm on Tony, because the same car crash that took their lives claimed Tony's.

And with his life, it claimed a part of Steve's heart that he could never get back.


End file.
